While I’m sitting here waiting for the sun to come up, my mind is in a shambles. I can not fathom how I have survived six years without our son.
I can recall many times over the years telling my boys ~ Please be careful~ “ I would die if something happened to one of you,” because that’s what every parent believes.. that your heart will just stop and you would no longer exist. Well.. here I am! Still fighting through each day. Still entrenched in the most horrible of pains and heartache known to humans and even though most days I feel like I am just a by-product of my grief, I do try to make my mark on this world by telling my sons story to help save families from enduring this pain. All in honor of Kenny. It also helps me to connect with other grieving parents.. it’s a “ club “ no one want to be in, but it’s helpful to know others understand your pain. God help us.. as Angel parents we endure the most unnatural loss, pain, and learn to live in survival mode. It’s so inexplicably hard.
Today, I’ll struggle like all the 2,190 days before. I will cry for the miracle baby, beautiful boy and the wonderful teenager our son was and I’ll replay the years, remembering all I can.. pushing away all the traumatic memories that surround Kenny’s death on this day six years ago. I will fight to remember his smile, his laughter, his hugs.. his wonderful, irreplaceable hugs and I’ll beg to feel the warmth of knowing he is still with me, in his Angel way. I pray for strength and the ability to get through this day with some grace.
Kenny was so kind and so good. So loved and loving. Loyal and protective. Innocent and pure. He was the best of all of us and we will never ever get over his absence, we feel it daily.
Remember our son today!
Kenneth “ Kenny” Louis Suttner
Please be kind! Stop bullying! Treat others with the dignity that everyone of us deserves. And remember it’s ok to not be ok!
For those who are struggling missing their children during the holiday season, your not alone!
Sending care, prayers, hugs and understanding!
Sincerely, Angela, KennyBugs momma! 🦋