Sometimes in our daily lives all it takes is something very simple, insignificant to anyone else, to send me into a panic filled, heart throbbing, manic kind of meltdown. It generally passes rather quickly but it hits like a hammer.
All it took today was for a knock at the door. It was a very kind older gentleman out collecting census information. When I answered the door he asked “ Hello Ma’am, Is Kenny home?” And my mind instantly went to my son Kenny, of course!!! For a few seconds I stood frozen until my mind had a – ding ding- moment and I realized he was looking for my husbands Uncle who our Kenny was named after, who lives up the road from us. But for those few seconds, I was speechless. I quickly gathered myself and I kindly directed him to the correct address. I then went inside and immediately broke down.. to hear your child’s name come out of the mouth of a stranger does something to your heart… even though he was not referring to our Kenny, my mind started to think “ this is what it would be like if Kenny was still here and someone came to the door for him” and my mind couldn’t take it. He should be here.. this shouldn’t have hit me so hard, but it did!
It’s impossible for anyone to comprehend what life is like for parents who have lost a child.. little moments like these are small but huge for us. 😞
With Love, Hugs and Understanding, Angela, KennyBugs momma 🥰🦋