I have been admittingly struggling the last couple days. Motivation.. none, energy.. very little, care in the world…barely, And these feelings are all to familiar. I’ve been here many times since my son’s death. Depression is sneaking up on me. Again. My emotions have been all over the place. Anger most prevelant lately with agitation. To no fault of my own or anyone’s around me, it’s just a phase I visit frequently.
Times when I feel I struggle the most? The 21st of each month means it’s been another month since I’ve seen my son. Heard his laugh. Witnessed his smile. And it hurts so much. It brings out all the questions that I have and then the anger that I will never truly know the answers. And that is so hard for me to except.
I have come to learn throughout the past three years seven months that as long as I can recognize the stage of grief I’m in.. I can get myself out. And thus I will let myself dwell until I feel it’s passed. Usually a week or so.. And then I’ll be out in the sun again, staring at my flowers and wishing upon stars. Until then prayers for peace and understanding are always my comfort.
With love, hugs and understanding. Find something to give you some peace.
Angela, Kennybugs Momma!