I can’t count how many times I’ve been told ” can’t wait till your old Ang again” or ” We want our old Ang back”. Each time hurts more than the last. That’s what family and friends have always called me, Ang. I get where they are coming from I just wish for once they could get where I’m coming from. That person I was doesn’t exist anymore and never will.

This is the new me.. take me or leave me but stop making me feel bad for not being who you think I should be. I don’t relate to normal everyday B.S. once you’ve lost a child, gossip and idle talk just frustrates me. I wanna scream ” if that’s your biggest problem, consider yourself lucky” – stop bitching. But I don’t. I keep it locked away because I know deep down they can and never will get me again. At no fault of their own. It is what it is. I live with grief and do my best.