Learning to be ok with my grief! It is mine, noone else can take it from me, carry it for me, guide me, teach me or see me through it. You may hold my hand, lend a shoulder and offer words of kindness.. but at the end of the day it is just me and my grief. It comes from the depths of my love for my son. A love that can not be replicated or explained. We love our children individually. Not to define or compare them to another. Each deserving their own place in our hearts. There they will always stay. Our Blessings.
Our hearts are made to love our children without ending, eternally growing. Death does not change that. The only thing that changes is that I have nowhere to place my love for my son, to bestow it upon him with care and graditude that he is mine. It’s kept locked away in my heart, tight and forever.. expelled through prayer. Words whispered in the wind, spoken in my mind, sent to him with hope that he may hear me. The part of my heart that belongs to my angel at times feels overflowing. That’s what grief is. All of our love and noway to give it to our child. A hug, a long talk, a sweet text just to say – Hi, I love you-! We are denied the normal rights of parenting. The day to day showering our child with love ceased to exist. So in our hearts our love for them remains. Building with the days that come and pass. Coming out through tears and sadness, always taunted by the inexplicable loss and always missing them.
Grief is not a state of mind but a heart full of love, a love that never deminishes. Therefore grief will always be a part of me. And I’m ok with that!
With love, hugs and understanding!
Angela, KennyBugs Momma!