It’s a beautiful sunshine filled August morning. All the flowers are opened to take in all the warmth and light and it’s so pretty. The grass damp with the morning dew. Birds singing, butterfly’s everywhere.. what a blessing.

I have been self motivating lately. I no longer rely on things or people for my moods, or outlook on the day. It’s up to me. I can either let the despicable nature of others keep me down or I can choose to see the best this world has to offer and know that it is enough. I choose the later. I have wonderful people in my life, surrounding me with love and happiness, I’m lucky. Very lucky!

I urge those of you who struggle as I do to search for those who bring you light, fresh air, laughter, and good vibes. Stay away from the negative.. the ones who insist on bringing up things that you have healed from, no longer give them any power over your smile. We have enough things in our daily life to weigh us down, do not allow those hate filled people to add more. You will soon find as the days pass that they no longer have any power over you… your healing will escalate, your peace will slowly return and your mind will fill with happy memories again.

It’s pretty hard to understand how people will line up to be the first to kick you while your down. Its cruel and vile, but it’s true.. there they’ll be if you give them the chance. For quite sometime now I have refused to just lay there and give anyone the chance to hurt me anymore. And I am here to say it was long overdue, I took my power back and put my shield back up. I am no one’s emotional punching bag. I am not a place, person or thing for anyone to throw their guilt at, expell their anger at, to blame, point fingers just to make themselves feel better. No longer.

I had wasted so much energy begging God to make people leave me be while I grieve our son. Why won’t they just leave me and my family be?? Until I realized it was because I hadn’t completely shut that door, disabled the part of my heart and mind that allowed them to hurt me. Once I did that, shut that door, it was like seeing the sun in a whole new light. Bigger and brighter.

Instead of a world cloaked with darkness and unsavory people.. I see a world full of hope, love and understanding. A world I can grieve our son in while still feeling warmth, not cold bitterness. It truly makes a difference. After all isn’t that all we ask for and need. To grieve our child in peace. I know there will always be those who try to rain untruths, judgment and evil down on me to darken my days.. but I will see through the rain until the rainbow appears. Our son loved rainbows. It’s a choice we must make clear to ourselves and the universe. We choose peace.

I wish you all a sunshine filled day, if it rains, wait patiently to see that rainbow to remind you that the rain will go away and the sun always returns.

With Love, Hugs and Understanding!

Angela, Kennybugs Momma!